Brandon Bacon

Brandon Bacon, eh. Let me just start by saying that I do not hate nor do I like this person. There are some people in this world that I just do not want to see happy, and this is on of them. (You'll find out more of them as this "Roast" thing goes on.) Well, the first thing about Brandon that pisses me off the most is his face. Yes, his face. If it just me or not, but he looks like a down syndrome person. That's not a good thing. I told him that he looks like that to me and he comes back with calling me a Gleek. That's not a comeback nor do I take offense when someone calls me a Gleek. I can change being a Gleek, you can not change looking mentally stupid. On the subject of stupid...He dropped out of school in ninth grade because, this is what he told me back then; because he didn't want to be in school and he couldn't handle the drama. I survived High school and I basically was a drama kid... not good drama like the class, but Drama like the real thing. I'm a survivor and if I can do it, down syndrome can also. He reminds me of Syndrome from "The Incredibles". He has the same kind of whack up hair in that picture above and he is just plain stupid. Brandon's super hero name is "Down Syndrome". He's now in G.E.D. school. That's good, I guess. He had a job and quit after a week because he couldn't handle working three hours for three days. He says it was killing his social life? Mhm, he never went out and did anything, so please elaborate that social life. He also says I start shit, Yes I do, but at least I say my shit to his face... or try to since he never goes out. Everyone knows I have a problem with people and he is one of them. Yes, I am a BITCH. Oh, There is this thing that Brandon has a problem with, he can not let go of the past. He cannot let go of the fact I cheated on him almost two years ago and he cannot get over his ex boyfriend who obviously doesn't want him. He says I am a whinny person... Brandon is the king of gloom and depression. I would imagine him to like pain and suffering but when he got his snake bites he took them out after a week because they hurt and he wanted to eat. That boy needs to eat. Anyways... From this I would say Brandon Bacon is a sissy flamer. The end.

Cheyenne Adams

Alright, so this is my first roast and I really want to make it a good one. So, I am roasting about Cheyenne Rosemarie Adam. Let me start out by saying me and this girl used to be very close, very. I learned a lot from her, like not to trust pathetic bitches every again and that you are as fake as your boobs. She ruined the life of her ex-boyfriend because she is a self-centered bitch. (I feel like I am gonna use the word Bitch a lot.) I let this girl borrow things from me expecting to get the things back, oh no. She still owes me Fifty dollars. See, I let her borrow Kingdom Hearts 2, and I bought that shit when it was brand fucking new, and she "lost" it. So, since a year ago she still owes me that money. Any who, I tell this girl that I hate her about two times a week. I like to be real and I like to let people know I hate them. I send her "I hate you" and she replied with either ":)", "You also", or "Cool". I ALWAYS reply with "Just know I am totally serious with hating you." Not in those words but something like that. She lies a lot about her life to make people like her. When I was friends with her she used me for things and payback for her boyfriend. People honestly thought me and her were fucking, serious people, I am gay. I would not tap that even if I was straight. She has been around the corner a few times and I swear she is proud of it. I just hate this bitch. She thinks she is cool and honestly, she isn't. She pretends to have liver problems...mhm...from what? Drinking? You barley drink you dumb twat. It's probably because you have been fucked to much. Her family calls her sister the brains of the family, I wonder what see got? Manipulation? Bimbo-itius? She uses people and claims a million people as their best friends. She is worse than a person claiming children on their food stamps. I remember that she was Wiccan, what she knew about it: nothing. I was Wiccan for a few months. I knew more in that few months then she probably knew. I dated a Wicca and I learned a lot from him and I can tell you that Cheyenne did not know anything. "Blair Witch Project 2" was just your favorite movie because you saw a nude chick. She tries to make people like her by lying, the only person I seen lie as bad as her is a Nazi. She sleeps with peoples best friends behind their back and then still sleeps with the other person. I just hate sleazy sluts. But, she did teach me good things like: do not hang out with Amazons, don't believe people easy, take advantage of situations, and how to fake cry in a court house. When she was getting a restraining order on her ex-boyfriend she cried, faking it, and her mother and her lied about EVERYTHING. There was no baseball bat, and if there was one involved it was probably being used a vibrator. Everyone talks behind this girls back and she still doesn't not know why people hate her and why she cannot keep a friend or a best friend. She is worse than a possum, a dead one. There is no comparison. I rather be friends with the dead possum. I would take that possum out on a date than go on one with her, because that possum wouldn't start drama. Song that explains her is "Backstabber" - Ke$ha.

Well, there you have it. My first Roast.

A.S.A.